10 Apologies to our second child

It’s hard being the second child. Not only does Zoe live with her (well-intentioned) attacker (Max), but her stuff is a little dingier, excitement is a little lower and she has been in public with a onsie that says “Daddy’s little dude.”

But it’s not all bad. Zoe reaps the benefits of more relaxed parents who no longer need 45 minutes to cut baby finger nails.

Here are 10 apologies to Zoe.

1. I’m sorry we justified only giving you one bath this week by saying we don’t want your skin to get too dry.

2. I’m sorry there was a piece of food in your hair that we didn’t wipe off because we were afraid of making you cry. I’m even more sorry I was the one who dropped the food on your head.

3. I’m sorry you are almost 6 months and we haven’t gotten around to giving you human food yet.

4. I’m sorry that you have a chunk of hair that has been sticking straight up for a month and we’ve only made one half-hearted attempt to comb it down.

5. I’m sorry that I put bows on your head even though I know you don’t like it.

6. I’m sorry most of your baby blankets are blue and that I don’t always correct people in public when they tell me what a cute baby boy you are.

7. I’m sorry we sometimes put you in the bathroom with the fan on while you are sleeping so we can have a quiet dinner before you start crying.

8. I’m sorry we have an obnoxious number of pictures of Max as a baby and significantly fewer of you.

9. I’m sorry about that time I was out of ideas to keep Max busy so I told him he could put stamps on your legs.

10. I’m sorry he stamped your face.

We love you Zoe.